It is so difficult to put into words the things God has been showing and teaching me in the past several months. I can only describe it as being turned completely up side down. Nothing looks the same. Nothing feels the same. He has rocked my world- in a hard but good way.
So what has happened in our adoption process? We have been very sure of our call to do something about the Orphan Crisis. Not just lip service, but really do something. We were pretty sure that meant opening up our home and taking as many children as God would send our way. Enter rules and regulations. Doors shut in many places by the fact that:
1. We already have 4 children.
2. We wanted to adopt older children between our youngest who is 2 and the next one up who is 10. Most agencies won't allow you to adopt out of birth order.
3. AND THE BIGGY- I don't use birth control and could get pregnant at any time. Becoming pregnant would immediately shut down any process we would have already started until the baby was one.
4. I did get pregnant and then miscarried. So, we stopped the process. Miscarriage is not an easy thing, and this has made 2 in the past year.
Many doors shut. Many dreams shattered. A window opened a crack showing a glimpse of the Savior.
In light of so many road blocks, we began to question God on what our role should be in the Orphan crisis. For now, we believe we are called (and that we all are called) to be advocates for the fatherless and those who are living in abject poverty. (More on that later)
So, this calling leads in to the rocking the world part. The part where everything I have ever known and every way that I have lived is upside down. We took a long hard look at how our resources are allocated and realized that we have been living for our own comfort and not for His glory. That we have not been making much of Him in our financial life. Now don't get me wrong, it's not like we were off taking vacations in Hawaii every month or anything, but we came to realize that the bit that He has given us can be used in such a better way. So, we sold some land. We sold a truck. We sold a bunch of stuff (I rock Ebay)! And now we are prayerful about selling our house and downsizing.
So, if you will stick with me, I will take you on this journey we have begun. A journey to discover Him in a way that we never did before. Looking for ways to be "bent low" as Katie Davis says. For ways to make much of Him in every aspect of our life. To live authentic, sold out, gospel sharing lives for Him. I have some things to tell you about, so stay tuned!
